4.17.2015

#MYSELFIESCRAPBOOK // PART 2

 
Second week into the #myselfiescrapbook project and I'm still loving it. (Find part one HERE!) I've been thinking more about what my pictures are portraying about myself this week. Are they showing the things that I like overall or just something I happen to like at the moment? Are the photos going to be fairly timeless or are they totally going to be ridiculously dated in a year or two? Are they something that truly represent me?

With the prompt this week, from where I stand, I've had to think a little bit more about capturing my life and my personality in a different way. I want to be able to show what my life is like at this time, motherhood, creativity, exploring, learning, and yet still feeling like I haven't even quite figured out who I am exactly at the same time. The reality is, as I was thinking about my book today and some of the things I want to include other than just photos, I realized that while I'm getting closer to 30, about to have my third child, been married for eight years, graduated from college five years ago, I still don't quite know what "defines" me. Do I even want this to include what "defines" me? Am I totally over thinking this entire thing? Should I just relax a little and just include the things that make up "me" right now as I am, because that is what I'm feeling I need to do. 

Maybe I'm having a rough day today or something, but part of me doesn't even really know if I know makes up "me" right now, as I am, at this stage in life. 


4.15.2015

THE FIRST TRIMESTER // WHY IT REALLY IS THE HARDEST

Warning... This is a motherhood/pregnancy post. It's been something I have felt like I wanted to talk about for awhile. It's something that isn't so easy to admit and it is kind of lengthy (sorry!) so it would be incredibly amazing if well... we could all just be uplifting and nice. Thanks so much my friends! You rock!

the record of only a few days I actually got dressed... I remember how I felt though when these photos were taken...

Now that I'm well into my second trimester and feeling more human I've been reflecting a bit on the first three months (actually more like four really.) Mainly I've been trying to figure out how my poor children are still alive and my house didn't fall completely apart during those first few months. Part of me honestly can't even remember some of it and other parts I really don't honestly care to remember much of. The reality though is that it all did happen, and it wasn't really that pretty.

The first trimester of any pregnancy (and don't let that fool you... by first trimester I mean well into week 15-16, at least for myself) is always pretty rough. Everything changes all at once it seems, but then it looks like absolutely nothing has changed. Your hormones are completely through the roof and suddenly you just feel... blah... For me it hit like a ton of bricks. I woke up one day, got out of bed like normal, and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I then proceeded to throw up every day basically for the rest of the first trimester. There really was no easing into it. I had to constantly be thinking about what I was going to eat next because if I let myself get too hungry I got sick. If I ate something too heavy, I got sick. If I thought about the wrong food too long, I got sick. If I didn't eat anything, I got sick. If I smelled something different, I got sick. It was... hard.

It's more than just the feeling sick and having no appetite though that got me. It was the total and complete exhaustion that came with it that I struggled with. I literally wanted to do nothing but lay in bed days on end. My children climbed around the bed and my room watching television for probably three months. We got out on good days, but then it was right back home to bed.

Above all though, it wasn't the sickness or the exhaustion. I could deal with that in stride. I was angry with myself. I was depressed that I would make these mental lists full of what I felt I should be able to do during the day and then only be able to accomplish one or two things off that list before I was so incredibly exhausted I literally could barely stand. I usually keep myself very busy during the day, constantly going from one thing to the next, schedule full, always something to do. To go from that all day every day to being able to only accomplish a tenth of that put me in a major mood.

The sad part though, now that I'm looking back, I didn't give myself a break. I was mad at myself when the reality is no one was putting pressure on me to do anything but myself. My husband didn't care, he took care of the necessities after work each day (why my children are still alive, bless his heart!) My children didn't care, they were amazingly content to just play and run around the house. My friends were more than supportive. My family kept telling me to just take it easy. But me... I was mad at myself. I was mad I couldn't put the effort into my business I was used to. I was mad my house was a mess all the time. I was mad I wasn't getting dressed each day. I was mad I couldn't even run the basic errands I needed to. I was just... frustrated! I didn't just let it go either. I needed to, but couldn't, and that made the first trimester even worse than it really was. It literally was the worst thing I could have done for myself, but I didn't even know I was doing it.

I didn't want to be one of those people who can't do anything suddenly because they are pregnant, and it didn't stop me with my first two pregnancies, why should the third be any different? But the truth is, from the very beginning there are major changes happening and I needed to recognize that and be okay with it. I needed to accept what my body was doing and that everyone takes it differently. Mix that with my slow acceptance of being pregnant all together and there you have it, a very unhappy mama. I learned above all though, not to judge. You don't know how people take pregnancy... its a hard hard thing, physically, mentally, emotionally and everyone handles it differently. I needed to give myself a break. Thank goodness we survived and were onto the next trimester!


4.14.2015

SIMPLE BLACK TEE AND SOME SKINNIES

jeans: hm // shirt: madewell // necklace: adam rabbit jewelry, st. eve jewelry 

Sometimes all a girl needs when they're feeling like they've got absolutely nothing to wear is a fabulous simple black tee and some great maternity jeans. I mean I do have a couple pairs of maternity jeans, but they're fitting rather large right now and I just can't bring myself to wear them. I feel absolutely huge in them. So I took it upon myself to find a pair that fits me now with the belly I've got going now and I'll worry about how long they'll fit me later, and you know what? I absolutely LOVE them!

Although... I think I'm going to cut them into some ankle jeans. With the summer coming, I know I'm going to be happier with the shorter jeans. I already ripped one of the holes larger... but hey my motto right now is concentrating on the now. It's too hard to plan for the future regarding fashion when you're pregnant. It's kind of like when you're trying to lose weight so you hang onto all the clothes you want to be able to fit into. Sometimes it makes you feel better to just go get a few new things that fit you the way you are at that moment because it just makes you feel good to wear something that fits beautifully, regardless of the size. Let's face it... all that matters is that you feel amazing!

4.13.2015

THE HALL BATHROOM // HELP ME CHOOSE A MIRROR

Everything in my house is in a constant state of "process." Nothing is ever completely finished. I'm always thinking of new things, or waiting on the perfect piece. I'm not one to rush into making a decision just to "finish" it. I would rather wait for the perfect chair, curtains, rug, or in this case mirror.

Our hall bathroom has been mirror-less since we finished all the construction (as you saw a couple weeks ago.) We did finally get the shelves hung and I'm more than thrilled with them. Trying to figure out how I want to arrange the contents of the shelves is a different story, but we are getting there. I really want a couple plants in there, because plants make every space better... seriously, but there is absolutely NO natural light in there. I picked up an artificial from Ikea last week, but gosh I'm having a hard time swallowing the idea of an artificial plant. Please... opinions! I need to know what you think. I've been so against artificial plants for so long... (PS... don't judge my terrible lighting cell phone pictures. I snapped them quick!)


 But this was supposed to be about the mirror... so let's get back to it shall we? I feel like I have the mirror choices narrowed down to three different options. Each one will fill the space very nicely... its just a matter of style at this point. Do I go with the ethnic, ornate, wood mirror that matches my house nicely. Or the industrial, copper, rectangular fabulous-ness. Or the simple, modern, circular mirror that will be nice and understated. Thoughts??

wood // copper // circular

PS... Did you see the BEFORE/AFTER of the hall bathroom?

4.10.2015

#MYSELFIESCRAPBOOK // PART 1

This week I joined in on a little project with Jen from Sunlight and Air that I am super excited about. #myselfiescrapbook... a little project with a goal of telling my story. Not my children's story, or my families story, or a vacation story but my own story.

I've been thinking about the concept all week, scanning my photos and albums, and I realized something... everything I document and create is for my children, to help them remember their lives, their childhood, all the little details that make up our family. But the truth is, there isn't much in there just about me as their mother. In sixty years, will they remember when they see their grandchild with toe thumbs that their mother had the same hands? Will they remember how much I love to wear jewelry? Will they remember the color of my hair and the curliness of it? How much am I recording and documenting for them about me, their mother? I want them to be able to remember it all. I want them to be able to look back at this book and think, I do have my mom's hair. I know I want to remember all those details about my own mother, hopefully they will want them same. That is what has me so psyched up about creating #myselfiescrapbook!!! 

The first week of prompts, from Julie of How I Sustain, have been so spot on too, perfect to get me started and really thinking about the concept of the book and what I want it to look and feel like. I want to convey not just the simple views of myself but also colors, textures, materials that make up my life. I'm ridiculously excited about how all the photos feel together. Can't wait to keep it up and start putting everything together!




4.09.2015

BOY OR GIRL // BABY THREE GENDER REVEAL

With my first two babies I didn't want to be "that mom." I don't honestly even know what "that mom" is... but I was almost embarrassed to be too excited, or too into everything, or too into the baby. I didn't want to come across as someone who could only think about my baby all day every day. So I passed up the opportunity to do a lot of things I wish I would have, like cute pregnancy announcements photos or gender reveal photos. Everything was just so new and to be honest I was nervous, anxious, and didn't know how I was "supposed" to react so I just put on a front of being super laid back about it all, and it was really dumb.

The truth is though, I really am pretty laid back about it all. I don't need a lot of fuss or pretty photos. But I did want a fun gender reveal. We have a boy and a girl so this third one was pretty much a toss up. I had my gut feeling, mom's intuition, whatever you want to call it but I was nervous going into the ultrasound Tuesday for the anatomy scan. I really wanted my "feeling" to be right and I didn't want to react badly if it wasn't (and you never know with the amount of hormones in this pregnant girl) because the truth is all I can hope for is a healthy baby. That is really what matters, and even at that, I will and already do love this baby more than anything regardless of its health status or gender. It is mine, something amazing, beautiful, and miraculous. 

Either way though, I wanted to do some fun gender reveal photos and weeks ago I had a super fun idea that I was determined to follow through with! My husband went along with it, in fact he was excited. So let's just get to the good part shall we? 

Sarlo baby three... boy or girl??? (I'm apologizing now for the number of photos. I tried really hard to cut it back from here but... well... I kind of love them.)


And the verdict (which I'm sure you guessed...) baby girl will be added to our family due to arrive August 28, 2015!! My gut was right! And Mikah couldn't be happier. Although she's been telling me the baby is a sister for weeks so she wasn't all that excited when I started telling her the same thing she's been telling me already. (I wonder if she really actually knew... sometimes I think little ones know things like that, like they are more in tune due to their innocence and pureness.) We are all pretty excited though, have absolutely no names to speak of or exciting plans. But baby girl is coming and we still have a few weeks right?!

Photos by: Evelyn Shai Photography

4.08.2015

PROJECT LIFE // FABULOUS MOTHERS DAY GIFT

You know I realized the other day that Mother's Day is just about a month away. Gosh where did this year go?? I know it is going to come up so much faster than I think so I'm feeling like I need to start planning now. What do you think?

This is going to totally ruin a surprise for my mother in law but I can't help it because I'm so stinkin excited about this super fun project that would be simply PERFECT for Mother's Day (especially if you start planning now!) It isn't anything groundbreaking or completely new by any means, but you'll love it, and promise, it won't take you more than two or three afternoons (or evenings after kids go to bed sitting in front of the tv.) It's the perfect way to preserve your photos and create an awesome keepsake for someone special! Plus, seriously ridiculous simple and painless!


Supplies: (All from the Becky Higgins Project Life shop)

Mini Album
Mini Kit
Pen (Sharpie is usually my first choice)
Your fabulous photos!

Instructions: 
Fill in the empty slots with your photos, then slip in the coordinating cards from your choice of kits or cut paper, journal and record your memories and notes as you would like. Wrap it up and enjoy!

Seriously my friends... that's it. It really is as simple as that. You can use embellishment and extra little goodies if you would like to spice things up, or keep it simple with just the photos and paper like I did here. My children and I can't stop looking at the book. It is so fun to hear them talk about the memories stored between these pages. I think I need to make one for myself... 


For more information regarding the Becky Higgins and the Project Life record keeping system, read all about it HERE. Promise you won't regret it... I'm obsessed!

Used here: Becky Higgins Project Life Cherry mini album and Dazzle mini kit

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